Tuesday

It's Tuesday which means I'm in the middle of my work week but I'm still feeling the burn of Sunday. Returning to work after a 3 day weekend is always hectic. To my foreign readers, why the extra day off? It was to celebrate Prophet Muhammad's (PBUH) birth. Yessirree! It's the Muslim Christmas! No presents wrapped in wasteful, but beautiful, paper. No pagan tree decorated with strings of popcorn and shining lights. No Hallmark cards filled with superficial, yet tear jerking, messages. Just good old fashioned prayer at your local mosque.

Our busiest days of the week are typically Sunday and Thursday. Today may not have been either day but it was mayhem all the same. Not only did it seem like we could've applied for the Guinness Book of World's Records for the longest queue of people wanting to deposit money but we had a lot of customers who had problems that needed solutions. Problems are time-consuming. Problems cause lines to multiply and people to fidget restlessly.

There are several ways customers try to get out of standing in line. If you have no qualms about garnering the despise of tellers and being added to the blacklist, here's what you should do:

1) Walk into the branch shouting. If there's a security guard at the door, make sure your yelling isn't loud enough for him to think you're about to rob the place. It has to hit the right note between outraged and upset customer. That's guaranteed to have the manager run out of his office to greet you.

2) Gesture wildly with your arms. Continue causing a scene until the manager withers under the eyes of all those customers upon him and guides you into his sanctuary.

3) At this point offers of tea, coffee, water, and any other beverage should have been repeated by the manager. Decline all offers until he stops asking you and takes the initiative to order refreshments himself.

4) A flunkee will be ushered into the office and take your transaction. The flunkee will be nervous so keep your request simple as to not add to the time delay. The long queue of people will be ignored and your demands met by the busiest trainee.

5) Once the transaction is processed become passive, thank the manager and walk out.

6) Rinse and repeat.

Instead of waiting in line for 20 minutes he got his business taken care of in half the time. It's fantastic for him but hell on us.