Days of a Kuwaiti Bank Teller

You would be amazed at the number of people who walk into our branch wanting to cash cheques that don’t have their names on them.

You would be amazed at the number of tellers who cash such cheques without realizing there’s an important element they haven’t verified.

I am no longer amazed at the number of tellers who get away with such unprofessional behavior. At least that’s what I keep repeating to myself.

Two topics have dominated all conversations this past month: World Cup and parliamentary elections. Elections will take place on Thursday and ergo culminate discussions of politics after the initial backlash of “D’you believe [insert disbelief/joy/frustration] won?” Regardless, chitchat of the World Cup will continue well into the next month. Don’t misunderstand me. I enjoy discussing sports but having to face customers saying the identical phrases all day long gets tiresome. I cannot feign excitement over a match after having discussed it with twenty other people.

Today a customer walked in and would not pause long enough to take a breath in his enthusiasm for the World Cup. The entire counter listened to a play-by-play of the last six matches and why specific teams won or lost, what they should have done and if they will do better in the next World Cup. Before I knew it, two of the trainees jumped into the discussion as well as three customers waiting their turn. I’ve reached the point where I just want it to wrap-up.

Of all miserly customers I've had, this lady wins the grand prize.

She walked into the branch wearing a normal enough ensemble; a plain blue button-down shirt with a pair of black wide-legged pants and comfortable shoes. Her only accessories were pearl earrings and a Gucci bag, a few seasons old. Her manner, as she waited for her turn, was somber and meek. Nothing about her triggered my VIP alarm or anyone else's.

That changed when she came to my counter. Her face took on a accusatory expression and her tone was aggressive. "You are all alike. You take our money and think we don't notice! I know you for what you are! I know the games you play!"

When I politely asked her what the problem was she continued her assault on banks, tellers, loan officers and the rest of our ilk. She had been keeping track of her finances and money was missing from her account.

I don't like it when I get cases like these. Money missing from an account is never a good thing. It means someone in another branch has made a serious error and I will have to report it. It's not an easy process. I have forms to fill out and then an investigation is launched to see how this mistake occured.

I explained the process to the VIP woman and she vehemenently wanted to pursue the path of finding the culprit. She didn't know when exactly the money had gone missing and wouldn't state how much it was until I printed a statement of her account.

She made me print out a 6 month statement and stayed at my counter for half an hour just because she was convinced her account was short 0.050 fils (roughly $0.20). Ebenezer Scrooge would have been proud.

Rich people prefer being called eccentric, right?

There is one particular customer who visits the branch each month. The reason he does so is because he loses his debit card. Every month he pops out his latest faux luxury brand wallet to show me his ID and I re-issue a card for him.

With all the charges we've accrued from him you would think he'd learn. He smiles sheepishly at me every time as if I'm supposed to find this habit endearing. I don't. If you're this careless with your card, then you don't deserve to have one. Or spare me the trouble of having to deal with you and get a minicard you can put on your keychain.