Days of a Kuwaiti Bank Teller

Earlier this week a minor won the Burgan Bank Surprizes prize of 300,000 KD. He was featured in all the major newspapers and with good cause. That’s roughly 1 million US dollars. The boy looks under 12 years old and he’s now a millionaire, or close enough. His father said that part of the winnings will be donated to charities and toward the boy’s education but words and actions do not always go hand in hand. I pray that his money is managed properly to ensure that it’s still there when he comes of age.

When news like this makes the papers my customers never forget to bring it up when they grace my counter. A lot of them think we tellers have the power to get their names on the winner’s list. If only!

“Can’t you make me a winner in next month’s draw? It’s the big one you know. I could use the extra money for work around the house.”

“Sir, you already are a winner.”

“You know what I mean, Teller. You can make me become the next millionaire!”

“If I could I would’ve had all my relatives win by this time.”

“Oh, I’m sure you can do something about it.” -wink wink-

“I’ll bring it up with the GM at our next meeting I’m sure.”

When nothing happens the next month they sulk but eventually their hopes always return.

To increase your chances of winning place a minimum of 50 KD in each of the following accounts:

Bank of Kuwait and Middle East has Al-Wafeer.
Burgan Bank has B-Surprizes.
Commercial Bank of Kuwait has the Al Najma (Star) draw.
Gulf Bank has its Dana (Mother Pearl).
National Bank of Kuwait has Al Jawhara (Jewel).

Dear Customers,

You were waiting a long time for your turn today but it is Sunday and it's to be expected. Many were there with you. Don't you remember? You were complaining to them. I understand that branches should have more than two tellers but when one calls in sick and another loiters upstairs with his coffee and cigarettes, I am powerless to do anything. When you grumble, I am the one who hears it. When the other tellers are absent, I am the one who feels the burn. You only have to wait your turn. I am the one doing the work. I only have two hands to do my job and my job requires a lot of multi-tasking.

When there is a huge queue waiting on me sometimes it causes me to be tense. Your asking me to speed up will only cause me to make mistakes. These mistakes will further delay your turn at the counter. Don't rush the people in front of you when you yourself will take longer than the people you have been harrassing. If you think we are being slow, time us. Each customer is entitled to 10 minutes of my time. It's rare for a customer's transaction to take a full ten minutes but sometimes it's necessary to exceed that time when there is a problem at hand. At the very least, it will give you something to do while you're waiting.

I will see you soon. Second shift will be starting momentarily. Please be kinder this time.

Best regards,

Teller

"Pssst!" hisses my coworker. She gets my attention, "Do you know that guy?"

"Which one?" The gentleman at the counter was a regular of ours. What was she going on about?

"No! The one that keeps staring at you!"

"What? Where?"

"In that far corner by the plant."

I steal a glance, "No, who is he?"

"He's been sitting there for 10 minutes just looking at you."

"What do you think he wants?"

We get our fair share of weirdos. My coworker called our Meeter-Greeter and asked if the male in question took a number for the line. He hadn't. After 10 more minutes he got up and left.

I wonder what that was about.

It's Tuesday which means I'm in the middle of my work week but I'm still feeling the burn of Sunday. Returning to work after a 3 day weekend is always hectic. To my foreign readers, why the extra day off? It was to celebrate Prophet Muhammad's (PBUH) birth. Yessirree! It's the Muslim Christmas! No presents wrapped in wasteful, but beautiful, paper. No pagan tree decorated with strings of popcorn and shining lights. No Hallmark cards filled with superficial, yet tear jerking, messages. Just good old fashioned prayer at your local mosque.

Our busiest days of the week are typically Sunday and Thursday. Today may not have been either day but it was mayhem all the same. Not only did it seem like we could've applied for the Guinness Book of World's Records for the longest queue of people wanting to deposit money but we had a lot of customers who had problems that needed solutions. Problems are time-consuming. Problems cause lines to multiply and people to fidget restlessly.

There are several ways customers try to get out of standing in line. If you have no qualms about garnering the despise of tellers and being added to the blacklist, here's what you should do:

1) Walk into the branch shouting. If there's a security guard at the door, make sure your yelling isn't loud enough for him to think you're about to rob the place. It has to hit the right note between outraged and upset customer. That's guaranteed to have the manager run out of his office to greet you.

2) Gesture wildly with your arms. Continue causing a scene until the manager withers under the eyes of all those customers upon him and guides you into his sanctuary.

3) At this point offers of tea, coffee, water, and any other beverage should have been repeated by the manager. Decline all offers until he stops asking you and takes the initiative to order refreshments himself.

4) A flunkee will be ushered into the office and take your transaction. The flunkee will be nervous so keep your request simple as to not add to the time delay. The long queue of people will be ignored and your demands met by the busiest trainee.

5) Once the transaction is processed become passive, thank the manager and walk out.

6) Rinse and repeat.

Instead of waiting in line for 20 minutes he got his business taken care of in half the time. It's fantastic for him but hell on us.

A stranger walks into the branch. A bank ID tag is clipped to his pocket and in his arm, a clipboard. I groan and nudge my co-worker. As usual Chimney isn't in his seat, so she is the only co-worker warned in time. They've come to evaluate us.

They are bank employees whose appearances in the branches are feared second only to the Audit division. Their appearances are few and short-lived but they carry quite a sting.

I smile as he approaches me. In return he just nods briskly. This one is going to be trouble.

"What's your name?"

I tell him and he scribbles it down furiously on his notepad. He looks up again.

"How long have you been working here?"

I let him know and he is surprised at my answer. It's a common reaction. People always comment on how young I look.

"Why are you wearing a shirt that color?"

Excuse me? I thought I'd misheard him and heard "color" instead of "collar". Apparantly not. He lectures me upon the value of wearing quiet colors and I sit there frozen. Then I remember that I have a voice. What I said to him isn't fit to be repeated. It's safe to say that my evaluation marks are going to be lower than usual.

I don't know if other jobs face this crisis but two things that constantly go missing in our branch are rubber bands and pens.